I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
