just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
