I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize