they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
