would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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