it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My pussy is not your playground.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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