Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
