Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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