I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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