So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
