what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
