I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
