Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
