He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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