Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm bleeding and have questions
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
