i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
