This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
