Do vagina's smell?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
