he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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