I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
