the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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