On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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