No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
