sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
