Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My feet surprised me
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