my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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