walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
