you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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