I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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