Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
