By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize