As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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