Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize