Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i need some magic done to my vagina
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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