Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
