if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Found the puke drawer
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
