dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
