porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Enjoy the penises
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize