YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
