operation harelip BJ is a go
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
