we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
