It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
