I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
