I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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