Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
