Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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