Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
