carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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