I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
