if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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