Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
