Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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