He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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