I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
