i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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