dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
