Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
