Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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